ruth30

What a week it has been. I feel like I have been gone for an absolute age. My husband has been away for a week so My Mum travelled over to stay with me and help with the baby. My Mum is very weight conscious and looks good. She is almost sixty and does battle with her weight to keep it down but nonetheless, she is half my size and still very conscious. I found it so difficult eating around her. I know that if I stick to my diet strictly, I can have large portions (actually fairly enormous portions), feel really satisfied and still lose weight. But my Mum is always disgusted by the amount that I can eat. I can see it in her face. So rather than having a large amount of chicken and veg or pasta I’ll have a small one and then give in and have a cake with her later! She can’t understand the way that my diet works and I know she is looking down er nose at the amount I eat. But I know it works! Don’t get me wrong I love her and really appreciate her help but now she has gone I just feel exhausted. I missed my husbnad so much. He understands my battle with food very well and also understands how my diet works. When it is just us we have no ‘treats’ in the house, but if he cooks he still does mammoth portions as he knows thats what it takes to fill me. Mum just doesn’t realise that we have a different way of eating and that we prefer to fill up at meal times and then not eat in between. I guess she has never had the real battle that I am having. Although her weigh has perhaps been a bit on the high side from time to time she has never experienced a total addiction which is how I feel about food. I did try to explain but she was quite flippant really and suggested I set up an ‘Overeaters Anonymous’.

 Anyway the important thing now is that my husband is back. He is still working ridiculous hours and our little boy hardly sees him, but he is back which is the important thing.

I am back on my diet now. I got on the scales this morning and miraculously had only put a pound on. I’m not going to register that this week. I missed my official weigh in day as I was away for the weekend so hopefully by next Sunday I will have lost some more.

Just realised what a long moan this is! Never mind - positive thinking from here on in.

I am telling myself off this morning but am happy. All week I have made myself miserable by getting on the scales two or three time a day because I had put weight on and with no good reason.  After sticking to my diet religiously all week and seeming to gain weight I have felt miserable and angry - and in need of chocolate. Then when I sat down this morning to really think about it, I realised that I had written my weight loss down incorrectly last week! I was showing a ten pound loss instead of a six. So this week rather than having gained four pounds I think I have actually lost three.

When will I ever learn not to weigh myself like I am Bridget Jones? Note to self - this is unhea;thy and unhelpful. Will try harder next week. Although I will still weigh myself tomorrow as it is my weigh in day. Won’t be much of a surprise now will it?

So pleased with myself for losing six pounds in my first week. I know it’s going to get more difficult and the first few weeks are always relatively easy but it has been a great boost to my confidence. It could have been a lot different. My in-laws came to visit on Saturday which normally means eating junk food and lots of it. They love all things greasy, cakey and unhealthy. But when  look at them I realise that I don’t want that for myself or for Alfie in twenty years time. The way I was going, I would be an unwell, unfit and unhappy mum within five years!

I was watching the Biggest Loser earlier. I think they have it in the USA and there is a new series here now. One of the trainers was saying today that you need to put in writing what you want to achieve because then it is kind of like a contract with yourself and if it’s in writing there is no escaping from it. So I am putting in writing that this week I would like to lose 2lbs. I think that this is realistic after such a big loss last week. It will also keep me on track for the loss of 12lbs I want to achieve in five weeks time.

This IS my time and I AM going to achieve!

How things have changed. I feel so much better than I did the last time I wrote on here. So many people have signed up as my buddy and I just feel incredibly motivated.

I love the sense of mumtual support on here and it keeps me focussed. I also love that I try to make some time for myself during the course of the day to read other people’s blogs. I am sure that is far more  beneficial than watching television/reading with a cup of tea and slice of cake.

 So far I have managed to stick with my diet (I think). I have even avoided the leftover toast and butter from my sons breakfast which is amazing. And what is even more amazing is the fact that I feel better for it. I don’t feel tired (well quite as tired - I still have a child who insists on playing peekaboo at 6am every day), I look forward to my meals and afterwards don’t feel so bloated and over-full.

 I have decided to chart my weight loss on a Sunday. It seems like a good day for me to do it. I am really looking forward to getting on the scales this week.

 I just hope that this continues but I love the fact that when I feel a bit down about things I will be able to look back at this and perhaps my enthusiasm now will motivate me then.

Well this is a new beginning in more ways than one. I have never written, or indeed read, a blog before. My name is Ruth, I am thirty years old and live in Winchester UK with my husband and one year old son. I am a stay at home mum with a busy (daytime) social life and I am finding life quite difficult at the moment. I don’t know if it is because of my weight, of that is just an excuse or if I always blame my weight for everything. But suddenly I find for the first time, my size is stopping me from doing the things I want to do. I want to be a good mum, but I struglle throwing my son in the air, getting down on the floor and playing with him. When I visit friends with babies the same age, if I sit on the floor I seem to need so much more room than everyone else, and they are starting to notice. So  need to change, and to do that I need to motivate myself and so I need help. Please, if you are reading this and wee any similarities with yourself, comment or get in touch. I am so desperate and unhappy at the moment. I can’t talk to my friends about it because they don’t inderstand and my hisband, who is wonderful, would never criticise me, but in the same respect that doesn’t give me the push I need. I am going to lose weight this time, and keep it off but if somebody could ‘buddy up’ with me I would just be so grateful.